In my early years (which is where I assume we all pick up our behaviors) I was surround by anger, violence, fear and intimidation. These are probably not considered desired qualities or characteristics. But this is what was around me and they are the behavior patterns that I adopted.
They did serve me for sometime. I mean that is why we do anything, behave certain ways. The word literally says it itself. BE a certain way - HAVE to have what you want. Behave - behavior. Now like I said these behaviors had there time and place for what ever reason.
But as my goals, life, circle of people changed around me. These behaviors no longer served me. Is it as simple as adopting a new set of behaviors? yes I guess so. But adopting new behaviors is the same as adopting new habits (healthier ones). They begin to feel good at the start, but as stress is added, or pressure, or fear even - we revert back to our old behaviors out of instinct. Which once worked for you, no longer does, and most likely causes more pain. As your old patterns are no longer serving you.
Another way I have discovered to really hit this home and find a solution. When you find yourself faced with a situation that could lead to poor behavior or poor habits. Don't allow yourself to reason why its justified , or 'its just one more beer' or find fault in something or someone else.
Accept that the outcome is up to you, and when you realize a habit or behavior is not longer serving you, ask yourself - Is this taking me closer or further from where I want to go and who I want to be.
You'll know the answer and then you know what to do.