10/26/2017 0 Comments you can't handle the truth...The reality is , it is easier to do nothing, then it is to do something.
In the short term. But why do we complicate things with stories about why we can't do something, or worse yet, not telling the truth to ones we seek for guidance. If you have been in front of as many judges as I have, you'll find have the opportunity to say or do anything to 'get off' , avoid punishment, I mean yes you can tell the truth, play the sympathy card to the judge, or can roll the dice on a story to avoid consequence - if the dots line up and the judge buys it of course. (I'm not saying to ever do that , but its always an option) Well I'm not a judge, and I don't believe most of the shit people tell me. For good reason, I go the extra mile with alot of the people I work with. For example , I'm sitting by a roof top pool in phuket back in December, texting one of my clients about what she needs to eat for the week - mind you i'm on holiday , but hey I love what I do and I'm helping someone so all good. But the thing is I have eyes everywhere, and news gets back to me this client is walking around the grocery store in active wear putting donuts in her basket. This is somewhat a common thing - instead of saying 'I'm really struggling with this healthy eating thing, can we talk about the reasons why I can't seem to do it' OR 'hey I appreciate your texting me while on holiday - but I actually cant be fucked sticking to a diet....' Instead people play these crazy games with me - pretending to eat good all week while their skin is breaking out from all the sugar they've been eating, talking about how much cardio they do, but struggling to get through a few rounds of bag work. You will get a whole lot further with a trainer (or even on your own) if you are honest with yourself, about where your at, how serious you are and how really committed to doing what ever it is you said you want to do. I recently used a mindset coach for a fight , we spent a good deal of time talking about my serious issues with anger, which is a handicap in fighting, its a handicap in life. But the only way to deal with issues, correct errors, is to face them , to talk about them , to be honest about how good - or bad - things really are. Thats not a glamorous story , but there you go. Like I said at the start, I've probably bent the truth a little with some judges, but I hope you can appreciate my honesty there - to bring home the point, if you really want to change, grow, get better , be honest with the person you've selected to help you. From the get go , the old 'I need to ask the partner before I commit' - then go MIA, or 'I'm doing everything I can' - while grocery shopping for donuts, to post about 'you do what ever it takes' on Instagram - then complain to your trainer about doing another 10. The truth, being honest, doing hard work, failing ,committing - its not glamorous, in-fact alot of the time it fucking sucks. But at least you don't have to live with the shame you know you could do better, or you know your not being straight about something - which then in turn creates guilt and shame , that can then trigger destructive behavior. It can be a full cycle of pain unless you just bite the bullet, the truth, or even just accept you are happy to live in 'the comfort zone'. We are all human, I've fucked up , lied, done all kinds of things. As long as your correct the errors, continue to work on yourself, that's all you can do. Fittsy
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10/23/2017 0 Comments health is number one, yeah no shitLike most personal trainers I preach a fit and healthy lifestyle. Like most personal trainers I should take some of my own advice. Although these days , I don't really drink , I eat well, I train regularly - but I am prone to commit other lifestyle 'sins'. I work too much , I live dangerously (Whatever that means) , at times I push my body and my mind a little to far.
My body is my billboard, my mind my tool to help others. Why would I risk possibly damaging these? Its hard to explain but i'm sure you can relate. Recently I've found myself forgetting things, waking up at red lights (that happened once), getting sick, getting injured, just to name a few things. Nothing serious, but sometimes it can take just one thing to put everything out of alignment. Particularly if you are self employed like myself. But not like me - what if you are writing a PhD , looking after 6 kids, working a part time job, then all of sudden you completely run yourself down to the point your no good to yourself , your kids , let alone your PhD. The same can be said with mental health, if not it is even more important. Which for some reason is not openly talked about - or treated as serious. For example again , you work two jobs , have a relationship - experience a death in the family , develop an anxiety disorder, suddenly your alone living off welfare on your friends couch. Yes these are extreme or worst case scenarios. But when I work with people, or even talk with people, it really surprises me how much we take our health, wealth and just being alive for granted. Like I mentioned earlier i'm not role model on living the most sensible lifestyle , at times. But I do practice and advocate - healthy eating, physical training, mediation and self love. If you don't look after yourself you are no good to anyone else. Like all my behaviors and traits that no longer serve me , I recently had to overhaul what I was doing with my time and energy. Although this was hard to do as it required letting some things go, it also highlighted to me - if I'm no good mentally and physically , I am sure as hell no good to anyone else. Particularly with what I do for a living. It doesn't matter what you do though, the same principle applies. If you are not at your best, how can you be your best for others, at work, home and in life. There's no right or wrong way to live - but if you want to live your best life, your mental and physical health should be up there on your values list. No matter your purpose or position in life. Like always, just my unqualified opinion . 10/5/2017 0 Comments the western conditionI've got really 'busy' recently trying to accomplish many things at once. While this a great thing to do, it can also be costly to the body and the mind.
I've pretty much been thru all the stereotypical transformations you can think of from my lifestyle to my physique. - I've been thru every kind of 'turn around' example personally and also from 'bad to good' , so I guess that's why I'm good at helping others do the same. I don't know. Anyway. As I use my 'reach' on social media and interact with many people daily. I try and spread my message of fitness, partly because it pays my bills. Mainly because the more I be true to myself, and express my mindset, techniques I've used, and just trying to appear 'genuine' to people. I'm surprised the way people receive my message. Particularly when I am approached by different people seeking results with things that are not always just fitness related. Which I am happy to give my advice on. Interestingly enough the more busy I became , the more things I was getting done , I did not feel 'better' or good about life , anymore then I already do. Not to say I don't enjoy what I do, I love it. But I had committed to so many things and was doing so much , when I wasn't doing anything or had free time. I was exhausted, I was thinking about something else, or I just 'wasn't' there. Escapism , being busy , what ever you want to call it. Can be an addiction , like smoking , drinking , what ever , even just looking at social media too much - whether you like your job or not, whether you like your life or not , you can escape reality by always having to be somewhere else, always 'busy' always waiting for the weekend - waiting for everything to line up, before you can actually sit down and be present. Like my example, by the time you finally do, you are already doing something else. This was the best thing about my time in Asia, not because of where I was , but purely because I had the time to be in present, to think about what I was doing, why I was doing it, and who I was. They sound like very basic things to know about yourself, but when I ask clients or sometimes random people these questions they have a look on their face like its the first time they've ever stopped and thought about the question. I mean meditation is meant to be the practice of thinking nothing , but I have experienced this before when I had everything going for me, but something wasn't right. We ignore these feelings alot in western culture, with hours of tv, being 'busy' , drinking excessive socially. Sometimes it is painful to sit still and be present, I don't mean physically either - sometimes its spiritually or emotionally. But that pain , is the mind/bodies way of saying 'hey, somethings not right - go deep into yourself and see whats going on' And its as simple and as complicated as that, I've had answers given to me (from myself - or maybe a higher power who knows) simply by sitting on a beach, being in the moment when I train, meditating in a temple, driving out in nature. What method of meditation works for you will be a personal thing, the same way only you know what the answers you need are : new job, change your physique, move - it could be anything, it could be maybe your simply just doing too much shit and your mind is telling you it needs to chillout. Like all my blogs this is just my dangerously under qualified opinion - but from what I've experienced with myself or my clients, its not the behavior problems, addictions, emotions themselves. Its whats causing them internally, which can be addressed through meditation , self correction and coaching. 10/2/2017 0 Comments I did it my way.It seems like every second person these days is a qualified personal trainer - a qualified personal trainer, that will never be a personal trainer. That's cool though, that's what I did for a couple of years when I was qualified. Nothing.
If you ever speak to one of these people they'll tell you, they don't like mornings, they don't like the (less) security of running their own business, their job they don't like pays better - that was my excuse. Regardless, this is a good example of someone wanting to do something, but then fear sets in, fear of failure, fear of it being hard, fear of maybe it will work and they won't know how to handle the change. Then once the fear takes hold, you create a story to tell others or yourself why you don't pursue something, why you gave up, why your job that breaks your soul is worth staying at. Part of what I do is remind people - that story is a load of shit. Like I said in regards to my own career 'my regular job paid better' - which it didn't. I'm not just talking about working as a Trainer , which can be hard, which does require alot of effort. Like any serious goal , career, what ever - I wouldn't recommend you pursue it unless you are 110% all in. That being said, stepping out of average. Doing something different , actually doing what you want to do. That voice in your head is not the only person that is going to talk you out of it. In regards to my training , when I started kickboxing - so many people would say 'isn't that dangerous' , when I started lifting - again the doubt campaign 'you're going to get too big' , 'you're obsessed'. Etc. When I've moved/relocated, 'are you sure that's a good idea' 'what if it doesn't work'. Could you imagine if people came to me for advice or guidance - and I just spend my career talking people out of doing things. Can you imagine? 'the demotivator' 'helping people stay inside their comfort zones since 2007' . Madness. But that's the world we live in , get a regular job, draw inside the lines, don't take any chances, and slowly and surely get to the end of your time with a soulful of regrets watching other people do all the things you could of done, but you didn't because - 'you didn't like working mornings' 'you had job security' 'you tried it but it wasn't for you' (you really just gave up because it was kind of hard for a bit). I'm not telling you how to live, that's exactly the problem, we're told from school "you can be anyone you want - as long as it's realistic" , and now we live in a society that's to afraid to be seen at the gym because of being judged, too afraid to try a new career - but that soul crushing job being the reason their 20 kg overweight, scared to move town because they won't know anyone - and we crave social acceptance, I mean what if we can't find that somewhere else? again madness. My 'job' is helping people with their physical health and fitness goals, but i'm also here to remind you. Multiple times I've moved, traveled, failed, been broke, been embarrassed, quit (then started again), been alone, lost, been the beginner in the class, questioned everything, including myself - we are all self made, but only the successful admit that. I wouldn't be me if I hadn't experienced all these things. It's the same thing when someone seeks me out for guidance, like I said could you imagine? 'ohh I don't think that's a good idea' 'lets do something more realistic' I say this - How serious you need to be, this is what you need to do, and this is probably how long its going to take. Does that mean they have guaranteed success , no. There is no guarantees in fitness, in life. So you might as well take chances on what you want, because you can fail at what you don't want. I've been 'normal' (at one stage), normal fucking sucks, normal is what corporations market to - buy this car and you will feel good about yourself, if you live in this suburb - you should be happy, buy this product and you will have the body you want. Its your life , your body , your reality - doing things how you want to do them , looking how you want to look , standing out from the average, yeah - it's fucking hard sometimes. But so is giving up on what you actually want. Like always, just my opinion. Fittsy 9/21/2017 0 Comments books and their covers.About a year ago I'm back in Australia and I'm sitting on the banks of the Yarra with a new friend. Big jacked African American dude , and then there's me, more tattoos then common sense, not your average looking guys to be sitting in the Melbourne cbd quietly playing chess while talking about saving the world - as some trainers tend to do.
Adrian mentions to me he thinks this generation is struggling with a confidence issue, a lack of self esteem. Where do these things come from? I mean I know for sure in a volatile, intense , high risk situations, I'm quite comfortable - then you get me in a regular busy cafe, all of a sudden not so much. Does that make me more or less confident then the average person , I don't know. What I do know there is a strong link between looking good and feeling good. I know personally, and I know from experience of helping hundreds of people do the same. This can also be a trap, creating an identity to the way you look, building your confidence and how you appear physically - not only can it cause you to seek the approval of others (eg social media) you can also not hold onto the physical forever. Which brings me to. Education and knowledge. The more you learn, the more you earn. Pretty basic concept. The more you know, the more you can construct your life the way you see it in your mind. An this isn't more money = confidence / happiness. The strong link with this area I have noticed is people tend to be more confident when they are good at what they do, which comes from knowledge and practice, which general brings in money. Again the trap here I've noticed is should you lose the money/career/identity you're confidence can take a big blow. I guess lastly is the people who associate with - and this can be on a large number of people now due to internet/social media. I can't remember the statistics I think for every one negative comment it takes fourteen positive comments to 'undo' the negative one. Again like the other two factors you shouldn't rely on outside sources for confidence or self esteem - aside from it being obvious your generally going to perform better and feel better around nice people then assholes - particular the amount of negativity generated from strangers due to social media. I'm no expert on this , I also mentioned there are many 'normal' situations I don't feel confident in. Reading over this blog this probably raises more questions then answers - like usual. This just my opinion , my observation , I started writing about this due to the amount of people that bring up my physique or my presence and the way I seem arrogant or over confidence. Like I mention your appearance should not be your source of confidence or identity , also someone else's judgement of you probably suggest more about them then you. God speed. 9/9/2017 0 Comments My biggest addiction..Self awareness, mindfulness, meditation, self regulation. What ever you want to call any of these practices , they have taught me alot about myself. Particularly in the way my mind works - in this post we'll touch on noticing your own addictions, vices, demons . What ever word you prefer to use.
Addictive personality or maybe even one side of my family seeming to all be addicts of one thing of another, whether addiction is a disease , genetics or a choice - is not something i'm going to go into either. What I can tell you though my biggest addiction has not been drugs, or gambling or booze. It's dangerous behavior - going fast, motorbikes, cars. Risky decisions, shooting first asking questions later, doing what others tend not to. Taking chances, living on the edge. You get the idea I could describe this in one way or another but when I feel the risk, the danger, particularly when someone suggests I shouldn't do something. I usually go for it. Why am I telling you this, self regulation. Losing jobs, relationships, ending up in hospital and so on. Once I realized I like to self sabotage, I like to like on the edge. I controlled my circumstances a little more. I stopped buying fast cars, I didn't goto night clubs, I stopped entering fighting tournaments with barely enough preparation ( wait I actually did that a few weeks ago) - anyway. The point is, we all have vices, demons, addictions - are you aware of yours ? And if so what steps have you taken to distance yourself from these things taking control. Its Saturday night and im writing a blog with my cat sitting on my lap. I'm quite happy with that. Waking up , not knowing what happened or where I was , just to feel 'alive' or push things to limit - fun? not possibly. Dangerous , damaging and unnecessary to my goals , life and relationships absolutely. Why am I like this? my young years were all filled with chaos (you'll find all your behavior patterns stem from childhood) so to compensate my mind find ways to emulate that release of adrenaline - which I can mainly do thru intense training now. If you have a dangerous relationship with something or addiction , understand what it is, and why. Then take the steps to create a healthier one with something else. To fill that void, other wise when the opportunity arises - eg wine tasting with friends when you are in fact an alcoholic. If you haven't developed to will power to say no, or found something else you'd rather do eg maybe train with some friends or go for coffee. You'll find yourself fulfilling the cycle of a behavior pattern. Which left unregulated usually doesn't end well. 9/3/2017 1 Comment love is the solution..When I talk to people about change and living better, I don't make out to be the most loving perfect person on planet earth that goes around being positive all the time.
I am however a perfect example of what positivity, personal development and love can do. If I had to describe myself to someone else I would saying a relatively friendly guy who is into fitness and helping people. If I had to describe the old me to someone I say a racist, uneducated degenerate with nothing to offer. I don't say that to make myself sound any better or worse. Its just a self assessment on 10 years of change. I had a conversation with a young adult in prison and he asked me what was the hardest, but also the most important thing to lasting positive change. I thought about it. I said to him getting rid of (if necessary) friends and influences in your life that should no longer be there. Yes we are all accountable for our own actions, thoughts, feelings etc . But I'll give you a small example, my best friend for 6 years, he was probably the person that showed me the most about lifting weights in my life. But as I went on , made a career out of it, made my life about it. For what ever reason he would react negatively towards me - almost randomly. For example we would have a disagreement , he would unfollow my facebook business page. A small petty thing none the less, but when you are trying to change, or do great things, or evolve. These small actions, or shots, or negative behavior - what ever you want to call it. Basically rolls down to - if you cant count on your best friend with something as simple as supporting your business by liking it , how can you count on them for bigger things, or do they even deserve a seat at your table? This might some sound harsh to some, other people might be reading this and already thinking of a few people they need to take this kind of action with. Now I'm not saying completely cut everyone off and only look after yourself. It's quite the opposite. The day I decided everyone near me were always, loving, positive and driven (most of the time) I also regulate are they doing things that are looking after their best interest, and mine. Once I started doing this I had more, time energy and love - to then give to other people and my business. and when you are in the helping people business you need alot of it. God speed. Fittsy 'its not uncommon to visit any comment section, thread or forum - on any subject. left unfiltered , the general input from society is either negative, irrelevant opinions or people arguing about something that doesn't even really matter.
The McGregor - Mayweather fight is a perfect example. From the outside its two high level athletes, putting on a fight, to entertain fans from both sports and has created alot of attention. and so it should. I mean I dont even like boxing and im keen to watch it. But thats all the input I really have to say on it. thats where the internet experts come in, the keyboard warriors, the trolls (as they're called) . Talking about faults in either fighter - no ones perfect, but im sure these people doing the critiquing arn't exactly athletes. Then you get other complaints , its boring, its rigged, etc etc - maybe it is. But these irrelevant comments will disappear into nothing - almost instantly. While this fight, the story, the money made, will last well into the future. So why be negative? Why give your opinion? And if it is all these things, and these fighters are shit, why do they have your attention? I doubt you have theirs. Then also this week , two famous bodybuilder die, death, its final, its sad. But yet these faceless people, trolls, keyboard warriors . Come out of the woodwork to give their opinion on 'what caused the death' 'steroids' and all kinds of irrelevant information , smack talk - did I mention it also probably too soon. If anyone is interested in your negative pointless thoughts in the first place. These people will go on to leave great legacies , and all you have to contribute is negativity. Do I have a positive conclusion - unfortunately no. Go live on an island away from society like I tried to do once. Life is great, some people are amazing, but in the shadows, in the mob mentality , in the amazing time to be alive like 2017. We still use our technology to spread hate and negativity. What do I do, ignore it, best I can. Be a role model of positivity, lifting others up. And the odd occasion where I don't like someone , or something, guess what, I just ignore it, or keep my opinion to myself. I wish you a long , positive , happy life full of contribution. Mcgregor for the win. Although everything this man has achieved already, my , yours , anyone's opinion is really irrelevant. But the same can be said for your life. The only thing that matters is how you feel about it . god speed. this last month has been one crazy ride for me. It now been exactly two months until my birthday I almost think 'where has the time gone?' - almost. anyway back to the previous month, I've really not done anything superhuman, spectacular, out of this world. Depends on your standards I guess. An thats exactly it -your standards versus mine. Whats worth it and whats not compared to you or me , the time is going to pass anyway.
Running my own business, creating two programs to assist the younger generation , training for a fight tournament, and a few other everyday things in between. I have felt alive, exhausted, proud, pushed, energized and everything in between. Getting things done, marking things off the list, but also letting things slip, having to say 'ill get back to this later'. It has been a real learning experience, I mean we are learning, if your not learning or growing , your dying right? Or at the very least wondering 'where has the time gone?' - although we all get the same 24 hours in one day. I've waxed a good period of my time chips , doing nothing, being nothing and getting nothing. So I don't mind being 'all in' , win or lose , success or fail, happy or sad, its always better to invest the time on things you love , or at least feel compelled to do. Even if that requires sacrifice , even if that requires putting your pride on the line, even if you dont know the outcome. Take chances with your time, but don't waste it. Use it, how you want to, but use as much of it as you can. Energy can be replaced, money can be earned, unfortunately friends even come and go. But the one assest you have , that wont come back- the one you have to achieve anything, to be present with anything, is your time. Your movie even. Will it be worth looking back on ? Are you even enjoying watching the one your in now? Want change the middle?, or even the end?, start now. Although it may feel like you are wasting your time on goals, dreams , ideas. If you dont do anything with them that time is going to be wasted none the less. It doesn't matter the risk you play with your time, all in, or little bits here and there. But don't let other people cash in your time chips, or worse still tell you how to use them. Stay true to you. what makes someone successful?? (at least in the gym/fitness in this instance).
is it a 6 - pack? , 100k followers?, a great tan year round?. At least in todays age. Despite what the norm or popular things tends to be , what is it to you? The same way some people are living in mansions crying themselves to sleep , then you have other people sleeping in a shack that are the most content people you would meet. The same can be said with fitness goals, I don't believe it's truly where 'your at'- more so its where your going. More importantly are you still going? Because if your alive theres generally a reason to be here. And without that people generally tend to lose their way , even after massive success and achievement. Now I'm not saying looking good is the most important thing in the world, but I think its important to know what motivates you, what gets you going, what makes you feel alive. And be working towards that. Everyday if you are lucky enough to. Like the mansion/shack analogy , do you want to be an Instagram celebrity or do you define success as just being able to function and be the 'best version of you'. We are all different so there is no right or wrong answer, although you do need to becareful, relying on success/gratification of others(social media) can leave you trapped and unfulfilled.(crying in a mansion with millions) As apposed to just owning a shack with nothing (being content in yourself) All that being said, there is so much to do. Maybe you want run 100ms the fastest, pull the biggest deadlift, create a new and dangerous style of training and call it crossfit - wait already been done (im joking, aayyyyeeeee) I'm talking purely fitness of course, theres so many other versions of success, financial , spiritual , career, relationships, you should have at least some idea where you want to go in each, which is what todays blog is about. progress = happiness = success and so on , so instead of chasing somebody elses version of success, instead of mindlessly scrolling through your social media feed, instead of trying to acheive what someone else has done. Work out you, do you, make progress, be happy. Its as simple and as complicated as that. God speed. |