New year new me. Well not really - its the same old me. But more real, more honest, more open. Which I've tried to always be, but I guess not and now that I think about that probably how I ended up in court last year.
But why crimes I wasn't even convicted of were made such a big deal about I have no idea (apart from it was probably the most exciting thing to happen in that small town with the majority of the population with an even smaller minds in the location I happened to be based in that point in time)
How did a fitness coach find him self on weapons and drugs charges. How did a 30 year old male representing himself say to a judge - 'I need help' and the only thing he received was an amateur journalist in a local paper try and defame him.
Why is it when anyone needs help we are quick to point the finger, we all know what to blame there for and what they are doing 'wrong' - but do we ever think about the why. More importantly do we ever think about our own behaviour. I mean as far I know I can't be the only person in this world who isn't admittedly not perfect.
When I mention the words 'steroids' an uneducated person would relate that to anger, when I mention martial arts an uneducated person would relate that to violence and when I mention alcohol abuse an uneducated person would relate that to anger and violence.
What if I told you martial arts saved me from alcohol abuse and years later as I discontinued martial arts I pursued body building and casually used steroids in the later years of my life.
Now if your really close minded and uneducated your probably thinking this guy is some emotionally unstable violent meat head. Sure you can think that your welcome to your opinion, but as we go deeper into today's blog. Lets go back to when I was 12 - 15 as I was sitting in my third year of therapy/anger management.
I can safely I wasn't using any steroids, I hadn't learnt any martial arts and apart from the occasional beer my old man might have given me. I was far from abusing alcohol. But the anger was there. Why is that? I mean I've taken away your things to blame. Now what do we do? Luckily they didn't medicate every second person back in those days (which I went onto to do a decade later, hence the court case) but my therapist did come to the diagnosis that if I had animals around me I was alot calmer.
I was living in and have been through some darktimes. Who hasn't? But I am not going to give the run down on my history with anger. I am not even going to plead my innocence for the small town circus show last year. I am simply talking about semi-controversial things to trigger your attention. To make sure you read with intent what I am about to write.
As we come into 2019, with so much information at the click of a button. Being able to literally reach and connect with just about anyone at the click of a button and ever increasingly better technology and knowledge. So why is it we live in possibly the unhealthiest time both mentally and physically.
My first theory comes from 'keeping up with the jones' before social media most of society was trying to portray this perfect life. A BMW, a white picket fence, a good 9 to 5 job - congratulations John, you made it. Everyone so trying so hard to look like they were 'living the dream', it was much easier to hide the drinking problem or keep the domestic abuse on the down low. We noticed people were starting to stack on weight, die younger, see the doctor to get some pills, if they didn't already top themselves.
Life is pretty much the same now, but it is 'keeping up with the jones' on steroids (good word play) we are trying to compete with everyone around us, that we are happy, rich and everything's just fine. But like I said earlier we are actually far from that - infact our lack of health in body and mind is becoming an epidemic. But its not talked about - no one is willing to take the mask off, no one is willing to talk about the truth. Because that means 'you lose'.
Any one who has come from humble beginnings, faced adversity or suffered extreme loss. (I was fortunate enough to get a good share of all three) You'll no your ego takes a beating. Your pride takes a back seat. Although you don't realise this at the time. Its actually a blessing. Take what happened to me last year, a 'popular small town trainer', popped for drugs and weapons (a personal course of steroids, some pain and anxiety meds, and knuckle dusters and a baton - well just because) about a one and half on the one to ten of serious shit meter, I mean you just have to turn on the news on any given day to see a multitude of things more serious then this. I even got a full page spread and you can google me.
The reason why I write about this is not to shoot holes in the d grade journalist, not to defend myself. But to share with you that it was a dark time for me. It was hard and it was extremely challenging - nothing I haven't been through before, but still not pleasant. But the beautiful thing was - it gave me complete permission to be myself the good, the bad, it was all out there. I was 'out' of the game. No more hashtags, no more filters, no more flash back fridays when my current friday isn't worth posting about. I could just be me, and it felt really fucking good.
Not only that I launched my online business helping men all over the world with their health and fitness and getting them amazing results in and outside the gym. And how did I do this? You'll never guess, but getting them to be real. The same way I had been 'exposed' as not being perfect, I got my guys to do the same, and by seeing the absolutely truth - we were able to build from a rock solid foundation. And throughout 2019 I was able to create better business owners, dads and role models. The pain I'd experienced was the driving force behind this movement.
My second theory is most trainers and coaches suck, because they to are stuck in the same 'trap', they spew and regurgitate information about how to train, eat and live but they can't relate to their tribe, to their clients, because their to busy trying to maintain that facade that they have it all figured out, to afraid to take off the mast that they themselves aren't perfect.
And the majority of us fuel this epidemic with our own judgemental and shameful behaviour, crucifying those with a 'problem', while doing what ever it takes to hide our own imperfections
I'll leave this with you though, as we come into 2019, get ready to see a shift in the industry, not just in the helping people industry but in society. Its ok to make mistakes, that is how we learn, its ok to have problems, but it is not ok pretend they are not there and do nothing about them - or even worse point the finger at someone else and condemn them.
Myself and many other rogue coaches will be changing the game, with truth, love and education. Forget 'keeping up with the jones', pick yourself up - and you give permission to the person next to you to do the same.