Most people think I am gangster,
bikie, tough guy or at the very least.
A wanna be of all those things.
The truth is I am none of those things.
I am aware how I look.
My life does have some influence on my appearance.
Most of it was mainly by choice.
I like to workout. I like to keep fit.
I like tattoos to state the obvious.
I love them. Love the art.
I like that I have it with me all the time.
Just for my own reasons.
I like motorcycles. I taught myself how to ride.
And I am a mechanic from once upon a time.
But mainly - I look, I act, I speak how I do.
it is just who I am.
Just who I choose to be.
Just like you, the good, bad and otherwise.
You may not have the online exposure that I do. (God who would want it?)
You may not be as controversial as me.
You may not accept responsibility or even the choice of how you look, act and speak.
Let alone think.
The same way I didn't give a fuck, about the things I should have.
I was headed in thee wrong direction fast.
No one could control me, I wouldn’t listen to anyone.
And once I hit the gym my body caught up with my dangerous mind.
I was working in a garage in South Melbourne.
Treating cars and bikes like a PlayStation game.
Drinking and socializing like a sons of anarchy character.
One of the guys in the shop saw this when we would go out together. He saw me drink, fight and have no regard for the consequences. Usually those kind of men are either drawn to gangs and clubs or recruited because they are “useful”.
Let’s call him Ned for privacy sake. I wasn’t sure on Ned’s history, but he was a tough dude.
Tough as nails. He worked hard.
Was a good man.
But you would not piss him off or double cross him.
Unless you wanted to use your ambulance insurance.
One night he said "come with me" when we knocked off. We went for a drive to few local club houses. Prospects serving drinks, girls dancing on stage, bikes parked everywhere. Not glamorous stuff.
It wasn’t my first time in a place like this. But the places we went. For some reason everyone knew Ned. They let him in and they left him alone. Even the big dogs there.
He said to me “I came from this life. And I got out. If I ever see you doing anything like this. Ever. Prison will be the least of your worries. Do you understand?”.
I took a sip from drink and without saying a word,
just nodded. As tough as I thought I was, you see how tough you are when a real man is talking to you.
It was a strange way of showing it. But he cared about me. And I listened to him, because I respected him. And he also put the fear of God in me.
Maybe that is when I first started believing in God.
The reason why I share this with you. And more.
It will all be in my book this year. Is not because I think it’s cool, tough or gangster. Just parts of the shit show of my past.
Like I said.
That was the best lesson I ever got. One of them anyway.
And living in places like Melbourne, Gold Coast, Asia. I have seen what happens to men who live that life.
I have seen the “loyalty” of people like that. I have seen how tough they are when the chips are down and their back are against the wall. They are not. And you see who people really are.
Every man is on his own at the end of the day.
You need to fight your own battles.
You need to have your own back.
As well as your identity, strength and power should come from your own character.
Not from some patch, title or group.
I know who I am. I can walk into a prison (as the teacher) and get ten men to listen to me.
As well as the guards.
Not because I am tough. I just have the vibe Ned had -
Do not fuck with me. And I will teach you what I know.
I know what I am capable of.
Both good and bad.
The reason why I share this with you. Unless you can find a coach, trainer or even just a man in your life that you respect (and if you can’t respect, fear). Unless you have someone like that in your life,
that is going to guide you.
The right way.
To the right outcome.
You are going to do whatever you like.
Whenever you like. The consequence is being a slave to your emotions, more dominant men and life in general.
But for now.
I will leave you with this.
Especially younger men.
As Ned showed me. Once men get past a certain age or mindset,
they are already fucked and past the point of no return.
Bet on yourself. You never lose if you bet on yourself.
By nature I believe we are good.
Ned had no reason to take the time to show me that.
And I don’t have to do what I do.
I guess he didn’t want me to live his old life.
And I don’t want you to live mine.
Or maybe yours right now.