The reality is , it is easier to do nothing, then it is to do something.
In the short term.
But why do we complicate things with stories about why we can't do something, or worse yet, not telling the truth to ones we seek for guidance.
If you have been in front of as many judges as I have, you'll find have the opportunity to say or do anything to 'get off' , avoid punishment, I mean yes you can tell the truth, play the sympathy card to the judge, or can roll the dice on a story to avoid consequence - if the dots line up and the judge buys it of course. (I'm not saying to ever do that , but its always an option)
Well I'm not a judge, and I don't believe most of the shit people tell me. For good reason, I go the extra mile with alot of the people I work with. For example ,
I'm sitting by a roof top pool in phuket back in December, texting one of my clients about what she needs to eat for the week - mind you i'm on holiday , but hey I love what I do and I'm helping someone so all good. But the thing is I have eyes everywhere, and news gets back to me this client is walking around the grocery store in active wear putting donuts in her basket.
This is somewhat a common thing - instead of saying 'I'm really struggling with this healthy eating thing, can we talk about the reasons why I can't seem to do it'
'hey I appreciate your texting me while on holiday - but I actually cant be fucked sticking to a diet....'
Instead people play these crazy games with me - pretending to eat good all week while their skin is breaking out from all the sugar they've been eating, talking about how much cardio they do, but struggling to get through a few rounds of bag work.
You will get a whole lot further with a trainer (or even on your own) if you are honest with yourself, about where your at, how serious you are and how really committed to doing what ever it is you said you want to do.
I recently used a mindset coach for a fight , we spent a good deal of time talking about my serious issues with anger, which is a handicap in fighting, its a handicap in life. But the only way to deal with issues, correct errors, is to face them , to talk about them , to be honest about how good - or bad - things really are. Thats not a glamorous story , but there you go.
Like I said at the start, I've probably bent the truth a little with some judges, but I hope you can appreciate my honesty there - to bring home the point, if you really want to change, grow, get better , be honest with the person you've selected to help you.
From the get go , the old 'I need to ask the partner before I commit' - then go MIA, or 'I'm doing everything I can' - while grocery shopping for donuts, to post about 'you do what ever it takes' on Instagram - then complain to your trainer about doing another 10.
The truth, being honest, doing hard work, failing ,committing - its not glamorous, in-fact alot of the time it fucking sucks. But at least you don't have to live with the shame you know you could do better, or you know your not being straight about something - which then in turn creates guilt and shame , that can then trigger destructive behavior. It can be a full cycle of pain unless you just bite the bullet, the truth, or even just accept you are happy to live in 'the comfort zone'.
We are all human, I've fucked up , lied, done all kinds of things.
As long as your correct the errors, continue to work on yourself, that's all you can do.
Like most personal trainers I preach a fit and healthy lifestyle. Like most personal trainers I should take some of my own advice. Although these days , I don't really drink , I eat well, I train regularly - but I am prone to commit other lifestyle 'sins'. I work too much , I live dangerously (Whatever that means) , at times I push my body and my mind a little to far.
My body is my billboard, my mind my tool to help others. Why would I risk possibly damaging these? Its hard to explain but i'm sure you can relate. Recently I've found myself forgetting things, waking up at red lights (that happened once), getting sick, getting injured, just to name a few things. Nothing serious, but sometimes it can take just one thing to put everything out of alignment. Particularly if you are self employed like myself. But not like me - what if you are writing a PhD , looking after 6 kids, working a part time job, then all of sudden you completely run yourself down to the point your no good to yourself , your kids , let alone your PhD.
The same can be said with mental health, if not it is even more important. Which for some reason is not openly talked about - or treated as serious. For example again , you work two jobs , have a relationship - experience a death in the family , develop an anxiety disorder, suddenly your alone living off welfare on your friends couch.
Yes these are extreme or worst case scenarios. But when I work with people, or even talk with people, it really surprises me how much we take our health, wealth and just being alive for granted. Like I mentioned earlier i'm not role model on living the most sensible lifestyle , at times. But I do practice and advocate - healthy eating, physical training, mediation and self love. If you don't look after yourself you are no good to anyone else.
Like all my behaviors and traits that no longer serve me , I recently had to overhaul what I was doing with my time and energy. Although this was hard to do as it required letting some things go, it also highlighted to me - if I'm no good mentally and physically , I am sure as hell no good to anyone else. Particularly with what I do for a living.
It doesn't matter what you do though, the same principle applies.
If you are not at your best, how can you be your best for others, at work, home and in life. There's no right or wrong way to live - but if you want to live your best life, your mental and physical health should be up there on your values list. No matter your purpose or position in life.
Like always, just my unqualified opinion .
I've got really 'busy' recently trying to accomplish many things at once. While this a great thing to do, it can also be costly to the body and the mind.
I've pretty much been thru all the stereotypical transformations you can think of from my lifestyle to my physique. - I've been thru every kind of 'turn around' example personally and also from 'bad to good' , so I guess that's why I'm good at helping others do the same. I don't know. Anyway.
As I use my 'reach' on social media and interact with many people daily. I try and spread my message of fitness, partly because it pays my bills. Mainly because the more I be true to myself, and express my mindset, techniques I've used, and just trying to appear 'genuine' to people.
I'm surprised the way people receive my message.
Particularly when I am approached by different people seeking results with things that are not always just fitness related. Which I am happy to give my advice on.
Interestingly enough the more busy I became , the more things I was getting done , I did not feel 'better' or good about life , anymore then I already do. Not to say I don't enjoy what I do, I love it. But I had committed to so many things and was doing so much , when I wasn't doing anything or had free time. I was exhausted, I was thinking about something else, or I just 'wasn't' there.
Escapism , being busy , what ever you want to call it. Can be an addiction , like smoking , drinking , what ever , even just looking at social media too much - whether you like your job or not, whether you like your life or not , you can escape reality by always having to be somewhere else, always 'busy' always waiting for the weekend - waiting for everything to line up, before you can actually sit down and be present. Like my example, by the time you finally do, you are already doing something else.
This was the best thing about my time in Asia, not because of where I was , but purely because I had the time to be in present, to think about what I was doing, why I was doing it, and who I was. They sound like very basic things to know about yourself, but when I ask clients or sometimes random people these questions they have a look on their face like its the first time they've ever stopped and thought about the question.
I mean meditation is meant to be the practice of thinking nothing , but I have experienced this before when I had everything going for me, but something wasn't right. We ignore these feelings alot in western culture, with hours of tv, being 'busy' , drinking excessive socially. Sometimes it is painful to sit still and be present, I don't mean physically either - sometimes its spiritually or emotionally. But that pain , is the mind/bodies way of saying 'hey, somethings not right - go deep into yourself and see whats going on'
And its as simple and as complicated as that, I've had answers given to me (from myself - or maybe a higher power who knows) simply by sitting on a beach, being in the moment when I train, meditating in a temple, driving out in nature.
What method of meditation works for you will be a personal thing, the same way only you know what the answers you need are : new job, change your physique, move - it could be anything, it could be maybe your simply just doing too much shit and your mind is telling you it needs to chillout.
Like all my blogs this is just my dangerously under qualified opinion - but from what I've experienced with myself or my clients, its not the behavior problems, addictions, emotions themselves. Its whats causing them internally, which can be addressed through meditation , self correction and coaching.
It seems like every second person these days is a qualified personal trainer - a qualified personal trainer, that will never be a personal trainer. That's cool though, that's what I did for a couple of years when I was qualified. Nothing.
If you ever speak to one of these people they'll tell you, they don't like mornings, they don't like the (less) security of running their own business, their job they don't like pays better - that was my excuse. Regardless, this is a good example of someone wanting to do something, but then fear sets in, fear of failure, fear of it being hard, fear of maybe it will work and they won't know how to handle the change.
Then once the fear takes hold, you create a story to tell others or yourself why you don't pursue something, why you gave up, why your job that breaks your soul is worth staying at. Part of what I do is remind people - that story is a load of shit. Like I said in regards to my own career 'my regular job paid better' - which it didn't. I'm not just talking about working as a Trainer , which can be hard, which does require alot of effort. Like any serious goal , career, what ever - I wouldn't recommend you pursue it unless you are 110% all in.
That being said, stepping out of average. Doing something different , actually doing what you want to do. That voice in your head is not the only person that is going to talk you out of it. In regards to my training , when I started kickboxing - so many people would say 'isn't that dangerous' , when I started lifting - again the doubt campaign 'you're going to get too big' , 'you're obsessed'. Etc. When I've moved/relocated, 'are you sure that's a good idea' 'what if it doesn't work'.
Could you imagine if people came to me for advice or guidance - and I just spend my career talking people out of doing things. Can you imagine? 'the demotivator'
'helping people stay inside their comfort zones since 2007' .
But that's the world we live in , get a regular job, draw inside the lines, don't take any chances, and slowly and surely get to the end of your time with a soulful of regrets watching other people do all the things you could of done, but you didn't because - 'you didn't like working mornings' 'you had job security' 'you tried it but it wasn't for you' (you really just gave up because it was kind of hard for a bit).
I'm not telling you how to live, that's exactly the problem, we're told from school "you can be anyone you want - as long as it's realistic" , and now we live in a society that's to afraid to be seen at the gym because of being judged, too afraid to try a new career - but that soul crushing job being the reason their 20 kg overweight, scared to move town because they won't know anyone - and we crave social acceptance, I mean what if we can't find that somewhere else? again madness.
My 'job' is helping people with their physical health and fitness goals, but i'm also here to remind you. Multiple times I've moved, traveled, failed, been broke, been embarrassed, quit (then started again), been alone, lost, been the beginner in the class, questioned everything, including myself - we are all self made, but only the successful admit that. I wouldn't be me if I hadn't experienced all these things. It's the same thing when someone seeks me out for guidance, like I said could you imagine? 'ohh I don't think that's a good idea' 'lets do something more realistic'
I say this - How serious you need to be, this is what you need to do, and this is probably how long its going to take. Does that mean they have guaranteed success , no. There is no guarantees in fitness, in life. So you might as well take chances on what you want, because you can fail at what you don't want.
I've been 'normal' (at one stage), normal fucking sucks, normal is what corporations market to - buy this car and you will feel good about yourself, if you live in this suburb - you should be happy, buy this product and you will have the body you want.
Its your life , your body , your reality -
doing things how you want to do them , looking how you want to look , standing out from the average, yeah - it's fucking hard sometimes.
But so is giving up on what you actually want.
Like always, just my opinion.