New year new me. Well not really - its the same old me. But more real, more honest, more open. Which I've tried to always be, but I guess not and now that I think about that probably how I ended up in court last year.
But why crimes I wasn't even convicted of were made such a big deal about I have no idea (apart from it was probably the most exciting thing to happen in that small town with the majority of the population with an even smaller minds in the location I happened to be based in that point in time)
How did a fitness coach find him self on weapons and drugs charges. How did a 30 year old male representing himself say to a judge - 'I need help' and the only thing he received was an amateur journalist in a local paper try and defame him.
Why is it when anyone needs help we are quick to point the finger, we all know what to blame there for and what they are doing 'wrong' - but do we ever think about the why. More importantly do we ever think about our own behaviour. I mean as far I know I can't be the only person in this world who isn't admittedly not perfect.
When I mention the words 'steroids' an uneducated person would relate that to anger, when I mention martial arts an uneducated person would relate that to violence and when I mention alcohol abuse an uneducated person would relate that to anger and violence.
What if I told you martial arts saved me from alcohol abuse and years later as I discontinued martial arts I pursued body building and casually used steroids in the later years of my life.
Now if your really close minded and uneducated your probably thinking this guy is some emotionally unstable violent meat head. Sure you can think that your welcome to your opinion, but as we go deeper into today's blog. Lets go back to when I was 12 - 15 as I was sitting in my third year of therapy/anger management.
I can safely I wasn't using any steroids, I hadn't learnt any martial arts and apart from the occasional beer my old man might have given me. I was far from abusing alcohol. But the anger was there. Why is that? I mean I've taken away your things to blame. Now what do we do? Luckily they didn't medicate every second person back in those days (which I went onto to do a decade later, hence the court case) but my therapist did come to the diagnosis that if I had animals around me I was alot calmer.
I was living in and have been through some darktimes. Who hasn't? But I am not going to give the run down on my history with anger. I am not even going to plead my innocence for the small town circus show last year. I am simply talking about semi-controversial things to trigger your attention. To make sure you read with intent what I am about to write.
As we come into 2019, with so much information at the click of a button. Being able to literally reach and connect with just about anyone at the click of a button and ever increasingly better technology and knowledge. So why is it we live in possibly the unhealthiest time both mentally and physically.
My first theory comes from 'keeping up with the jones' before social media most of society was trying to portray this perfect life. A BMW, a white picket fence, a good 9 to 5 job - congratulations John, you made it. Everyone so trying so hard to look like they were 'living the dream', it was much easier to hide the drinking problem or keep the domestic abuse on the down low. We noticed people were starting to stack on weight, die younger, see the doctor to get some pills, if they didn't already top themselves.
Life is pretty much the same now, but it is 'keeping up with the jones' on steroids (good word play) we are trying to compete with everyone around us, that we are happy, rich and everything's just fine. But like I said earlier we are actually far from that - infact our lack of health in body and mind is becoming an epidemic. But its not talked about - no one is willing to take the mask off, no one is willing to talk about the truth. Because that means 'you lose'.
Any one who has come from humble beginnings, faced adversity or suffered extreme loss. (I was fortunate enough to get a good share of all three) You'll no your ego takes a beating. Your pride takes a back seat. Although you don't realise this at the time. Its actually a blessing. Take what happened to me last year, a 'popular small town trainer', popped for drugs and weapons (a personal course of steroids, some pain and anxiety meds, and knuckle dusters and a baton - well just because) about a one and half on the one to ten of serious shit meter, I mean you just have to turn on the news on any given day to see a multitude of things more serious then this. I even got a full page spread and you can google me.
The reason why I write about this is not to shoot holes in the d grade journalist, not to defend myself. But to share with you that it was a dark time for me. It was hard and it was extremely challenging - nothing I haven't been through before, but still not pleasant. But the beautiful thing was - it gave me complete permission to be myself the good, the bad, it was all out there. I was 'out' of the game. No more hashtags, no more filters, no more flash back fridays when my current friday isn't worth posting about. I could just be me, and it felt really fucking good.
Not only that I launched my online business helping men all over the world with their health and fitness and getting them amazing results in and outside the gym. And how did I do this? You'll never guess, but getting them to be real. The same way I had been 'exposed' as not being perfect, I got my guys to do the same, and by seeing the absolutely truth - we were able to build from a rock solid foundation. And throughout 2019 I was able to create better business owners, dads and role models. The pain I'd experienced was the driving force behind this movement.
My second theory is most trainers and coaches suck, because they to are stuck in the same 'trap', they spew and regurgitate information about how to train, eat and live but they can't relate to their tribe, to their clients, because their to busy trying to maintain that facade that they have it all figured out, to afraid to take off the mast that they themselves aren't perfect.
And the majority of us fuel this epidemic with our own judgemental and shameful behaviour, crucifying those with a 'problem', while doing what ever it takes to hide our own imperfections
I'll leave this with you though, as we come into 2019, get ready to see a shift in the industry, not just in the helping people industry but in society. Its ok to make mistakes, that is how we learn, its ok to have problems, but it is not ok pretend they are not there and do nothing about them - or even worse point the finger at someone else and condemn them.
Myself and many other rogue coaches will be changing the game, with truth, love and education. Forget 'keeping up with the jones', pick yourself up - and you give permission to the person next to you to do the same.
Having been in the fitness game a decade and worked in many different areas – sales in particular, which is what we will be covering today. I will be as transparent as possible in this post, so I guess it’s the same as any other one. I have been that guy that has the attitude when a new person walks in ‘this person will buy a membership, even if this is not the right place for them’. I have recommend products that I didn’t 100 percent absolutely believe in – so I know this industry is not as beneficial for people as everyone likes to claim (side note – I’m obviously not like that now, I was a young guy, easily influenced by wrong people and the wrong reasons)
Now I only sell myself, well my coaching more to the point and you can’t just buy it. I need to be able to help you with my program and you need to be 110% committed to making the effort. Otherwise we probably waste both our time. I am no longer a coach that will ‘put up with you’, your consistent excuses and negativity or repeated failures. (if you read that and you’re already thinking ‘hey you’re a coach YOUR supposed to MAKE ME change – and that thinking right there is why you won’t succeed because you put the keys to your success in my hand, you literally could get results at any time with or without me, if you could just correct the errors and work)
Anyway, the reason why I shared that with is I get it, I know some people don’t always have your best intentions at heart. But I am sure you have had your heart broken before – did you completely give up on love and say ‘oh because of this person I’ll never love again’? No, you sort your shit out and move on and find someone that makes your life great.
Too many guys use the old ‘oh yeah I invested in something but it didn’t work or I got scammed’ and they keep running that story over and over creating just another excuses why they can’t do it (again putting the keys to your results in someone else’s hand - again)
I also understand what it’s like to not be super financial, but I also understand what it’s like to just be irresponsible and spend hundreds of dollars on poor decisions on the weekend another small shift if you started investing that money into yourself your life would change in and outside the gym. I get about 10 messages a day for my DFP28 5-6 are automatically failed applications because they ignore the questions (shows me they can’t follow simple directions, so they can’t be coached) And ‘how much’ usually translates to ‘I’m a tight ass and I Want your amazing program for as little as possible’ – which also tells me you probably want amazing results without doing any work, another problem being pushed into vulnerable minds by the fitness industry. You have to work, there is no away around it. And if you have believed that, it’s probably where you were ‘scammed’ lol
I’ll leave you with this. I am not trying to sell you – not on my products or any other one. But I am trying to educate you on being able to take responsibility for your shit and be able to make a better decision on what you do NEED to invest in and follow to gain your health, fitness or happiness back. Most coaches and trainers understand human behaviour, the ones that know what they are doing anyway. They know if you pay 500 dollars for a training session in a park at 5 am– you will be early, with new workout gear, all ready to go and give it your best effort. The same session at 5 dollars – you are more than likely to cancel by text because you don’t want to get out of bed or just go and give a half assed effort. Because its only five bucks right.
Stop looking for free, stop looking for easy. The reason why you do that is because you think you’re not worth the money, you’re not worth the effort. You are. And once you accept that and understand that, you’ll invest the damn money, do the work and achieve your goals break the cycle and your life will go on to be better and better. Or will continue to be that victim, writing ‘scam’ on FB ads you know nothing about or private messaging ‘how much’
This post was to explain to you that you do have the money, you just spend it on the wrong shit. And you are capable of achieving great things, you just haven’t done it yet.
So if you’re still reading this – then it probably is for you.
I ask you now. What is stopping you really?
These three things are very much related when it comes to health and fitness. More importantly most human behaviour - but lets start off with pain and pleasure. We are pleasure seeking creatures, and as our lives become seemingly easier.
We get bored and we seem to have endless different sources of pleasure at our disposal. The thing is though with (excess) short term please comes long term pain. If your bored and excessively watch netflix to pass the time (when yiou could probably be building a productive life) , you will most likely have some kind of consequence. Unfulfilling relationships, unsuccessful career, poor health - just due to spending to much time starring at a box.
Maybe your bored on your weekends so you take up betting on horse racing, pleasure of not being bored combined with the double whammy of dopamine hits from gambling - all of a sudden you've got a pretty big problem. (that one got me)
Lets say you work in the emergency room at the hospital, it wears you down, instead of find a positive outlet or taking the steps to change careers. You wind down with alcohol at the end of your shift. Your short term please becomes a life long dependency to alcohol and ends up killing you(that was my mother).
Its serious shit. We are wired a certain way because we needed these feelings to survive - long ago. Now to survive you need to take control of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Maybe you were bullied in school - instead of avoiding the pain of dealing with your experiences. You could channel your pain into martial arts, maybe even become a pro fighter or coach , one of the most rewarding sports someone can do. Ultimately starting from pain.
Maybe you don't like the way you look. So you turn to food, for comfort, or to control how you look. But instead of punishing yourself. Why don't you love yourself, then maybe start a fitness movement empowering people with body issues - resulting in helping 100s of people, them giving you love in return. All starting from something that was pain.
The reason why I link boredom into this is because there will always be pain and there will always be please. You do need to take the time to rewire your brain in what it see's as one or the other. But what I have found is - when we are bored. We do stupid shit, that's the number one time kids break the law , they're bored. And it is the same thing with us. Because we are not fighting off wild animals , not spending all our days farming and building things, we get bored, and we don't want to feel that pain anymore.
What is your pain? I listed a few examples earlier. What is your vice? What do you turn to? And it doesn't always have to be bad. I mean mine used to be bad, but over the years I was able to rewire my brain to enjoy intense physical exercise. Something the average person hates. I also spend a large portion of my life on personal development and helping others - as I mentioned, got bored with life, ended up with a gambling problem. And thats how crazy it is - there is a small amount of discomfort or pain, and without self awareness, it can blow out to full scale life altering addictions and habits.
I've seen them all. They can be changed, stopped or completely altered. But you have got to be willing to change. Most people like living in their new self made hells compared to their old ones, and to be free of their vice or habit, scares the shit out of them - a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven basically.
Start of by asking -
How long has this been going on for?
When did it start? - and if your honest with yourself you'll work it out.
Lets use me as an example again - 21 bored, gambled, decided to quit, needed to replace time spent doing it, so took up being obsessed with creating my business.
You'll have to create your own 'out', but there is always something that will give the same or similar 'pleasure' or 'purpose' even .
And are you ready to go back through pain? Because you've been avoiding pain for *(go back to question one) so it's going to take alot of work , alot of will power and alot of support to relay these new behaviour patterns and feelings about being true to yourself.
Fitness is always a good one to start with, but there's many other positive experiences you can have with your life that don't have to be destructive.
You got this.
Love to hear how you go with this after you've changed the behaviour.
God speed , Fittsy.
Energy from passion.
Being ‘lucky’ enough to do what I enjoy for a living, I naturally have more energy to put into my work and also my life. What am I comparing this to? My old life, job I didn’t enjoy, never really trained or ate right and really did a lot less then what I currently do now. But I was always tired. Partly due to not taking care of my body, but mainly due to having no passion for life.
You might be familiar with being exhausted by the end of a work day, but then when the evening comes around you have more than enough energy to go out and socialise. Why is that? You’ve most likely developed a passion for going out, partying, socialising. Which is fine. But what about the other 90% of your week when you are too tired to work, train, be a good partner etc.
Not everyone is going to have the same passions as me. But everyone can be passionate about what they do. Can be easier said than done, but like anything can be a learned habit. Even with a job you don’t enjoy – for example if you go to your job and instead of thinking 8 hours until I get to knock off and get wasted. Think what’s the best effort I can make in the next 8 hours?, how can I serve the most people in the next 8 hours?, what can I accomplish in the next 8 hours?
When you adopt this philosophy and live by it. Suddenly you will find you have the energy to go to the gym after work. You’d rather get up and go for a walk then sleep in another 10 hours. You have the energy to stay up a bit later and make meals instead of buying take out on the way to work. If you are deep in a negative mindset you are probably already reading this and thinking ‘be passionate about things I don’t like? Fuck that’. But I can talk from experience with my own life.
The more passion and energy I put in to doing things I didn’t really like, the more it created opportunity, energy and time to do the things I actually did enjoy – I’m travelling right now as I write this , I ran into a friend at the airport she says to me ‘your always going places’. I’m not more wealthy or have any more time then anyone else. But when I do something I give as much energy and passion as I can – creating the time and finances to do the extra things I like.
I’m not telling you how to create wealth though, that is not my specialty, at all lol. But creating a passion for fitness, your health, your mindset and your life. That is what I love. And I suggest you give this a shot for at least a week (unless of course you already live like this – eg taking the time to read a blog you might get something useful from) Say to yourself, when you goto work, when you have a conversation with your partner, anything. What is your outcome?, how can you make it an enjoyable productive, positive experience?
Sounds crazy, but I guarantee you will start finding the time, money and whatever else you didn’t have to do all the things you want or need to do in your life you are neglecting.
I have worked with many different people from all kinds of demographics. We all have a mind and we all have body. When the body changes though the mind is sometimes slow to catch up. Particularly if your image was not that great to begin with (what is truly defined as outer beauty is up to you, I'm purely going over why the there is the gap between change and realisation).
I wasn't poor as a kid, but times weren't great either. I remember when I started to work, make money for myself. Really make money at times. I remember buying a pair of designer sunglasses - when I put these things on, instant confidence, I felt like I was 'the man' and everything was perfect.
That was many years ago, the reality is they are just sunglasses, they always were. I own about 5 of a similar pairs right now, I could put a different pair on each day and I feel... about the same.
I've been relatively fit for at least the last 10 years, and well I've always been handsome (its a fact) So why did a pair of sunglasses make me feel so good about myself? But then years and experiences later I couldn't get the same feeling from multiple pairs. Its the same as the body, it doesn't matter if you look 'good' or not. Progress equals happiness - the sunglasses didn't change my appearance. They were just a symbol for me that I had 'made it', or at least done something relatively positive to go from wearing second hand shit as a kid.
The same way someone ridiculously over weight goes to the gym for the first time and afterwards feels like me putting on those sunglasses (more likely on the drive home from the gym then actually been at the gym) or the skinny kid does one weight session and goes home in mirror and flexes like Arnie.
It's got nothing to do with how you look, its about being proud of yourself, knowing you've done the work and knowing your moving towards you next goal.
Progress = Happiness.
Sure there are things easier for an attractive person - dating, job interviews, not wearing clothes. But all those things are just are not happiness, just things that can be enjoyable, maybe not the interview.
The same can be said for 1 million dollars (or a pair of sunglasses), many people say 'if I had more money I'd feel good', unlikely though, there's incredibly financial people that are still unhappy, stressed and even over weight or unhappy about how they look.
Which is what we are talking about, how you look. It comes down to self love, self awareness, self esteem. It's got nothing to do with the dollars in the bank or the numbers on the scale, NOT EVEN THE NUMBERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
Set goals, surround yourself with positive people, express gratitude everyday, learn to train for the enjoyment of the training (Crazy I know) instead of just doing it for the desired result.
Like anything it takes practise.
The same way you see the incredibly over weight guy in speedos strutting down the beach not giving a fuck. Or the guy at the red light driving the Ferrari staring at the guy in rusted out shit box with the pretty girlfriend next to him.
Having more does not silence that feeling of 'when I get x I will be happy'
'be happy with what you have, while you pursue everything you want'
There is no direct answer, but hopefully this stops you from forever chasing that next pair of sunglasses.
Then I am to immediately start by saying it does have a huge impact on who you are and what you do, if you let it. If have read or know about Nelson Mandela you will understand what I am talking about (choosing his mind set each day while being in prison).
I grew up in the lower middle class suburbs of south east Melbourne. No real dreamers, doers or anything exciting. Marrying your best mates ex girlfriend, finish and stay in the trade you started at 17, struggle to make ends meet for the rest of your life. That kind of thing.
So I am not sure why I had the urge to move to the top end of the country, gold coast, but I did and it had a huge impact on who I was and what was important to me. Not because that is what was important to me, but because that is what was important to everyone else. As I thought I had life figured out, have the nicest house , car , girlfriend - all being indicators your doing great in life. I discovered Thailand and realised that I had it all 'wrong'.
After coming back and forth from this magical place for some several years I decided to move there. Which made my care free eastern philosophy look on life change - the same 'stress' I had left in the west had followed me, but it had transformed from working Monday to Saturday, over priced power bills, keeping the appearance of success to a different kind of stress - worrying about where my income would come from , how was I going to stay in the country visas etc, and then bribing corrupt authorities here and there (going back to making more money) realising I hadn't had it all figured out, again. Every country , every lifestyle , every philosophy you choose to live by or live in - all comes with stresses and challenges. Which is why looking after your mind and body is essential to deal with what life can deal you out.
While either on holiday or living there people would always say to me, you look happy, or you look at peace, and well I was or did. At times. But I was also occasionally happy in the beach side suburb of Frankston. I just didn't have any social media to document the 'ideal life' 10+ years ago.
What I am getting at is , whereever you live , whatever your culture, it is going to effect you and shape you in some way - and it's important to become aware of this. You can do that by visiting other places and seeing what suites you the best.
I am a big believer you should live where you enjoy, some people like the cold, some people like the beach side lifestyle - and there is no reason why you can't be where you want to be. Then there is the behaviour side of things - I didn't want to marry someone called Sharon and have two kids in Melbourne, but I also didn't like the behaviour I saw from people to maintain 'the dream' in Thailand - and I could tell you some stories.
All while the world watches each other through various platforms, and as people tell me I seem to becoming increasingly happier or spiritual or what ever describing word that see at the time. What I have learnt it is not from any particular place or any material thing that I own - yes they can contribute to a better life. But it has come down to understanding who I am, and living how I want to live, the best way I can according to values, morals, and goals. And the answer is going to be different for everyone of us.
So if like me, you had the car, place, girl and were still empty. Find someone who is living like you want to , or is at least happy , and try out their world , move, change job , change behaviour or like I mentioned at the start read up on Nelson Mandela mindset. (just choose to be , happy, staunch, peaceful etc)
Because most of the time people usually live where they do purely because that's where they were born , and they act , dress and talk that way. Simply because everyone else around them does. 'The dream' , happiness, it comes and goes and this is my experience with it from people who watch my social media and question why do I seem different to most people.
But this blog has probably raised more questions then answered them.
Every year for the last maybe 5 years I’ve been fortunate enough to have 2 weeks or more in the last month of the year to focus on my health, fitness and mindset. Lining me up for what have been the best years of my life. Fitness has been a huge part of my life for the last decade, but health and taking care of my mindset, not so much in the earlier years.
Running myself into the ground year after year with work and business. Instead of recharging and reflecting , I would party/celebrate and disconnect from myself . This is all relatively normal behaviour though, at least for most of society, work your ass off all year , even if you don’t enjoy what you do, let yourself go for ‘silly season’, then level out around February and repeat the year in similar fashion all over again.
From who I was at 21 to who I am at 31 , I am a completely different person. I don’t mean that in as I have just ‘matured’ or I look different physically. I have goals, I am self employed, I travel , I am passionate about helping others , I have amazing people in my life – I couldn’t really say many of these things ten years ago. I’ll use the term unconscious , I was unconscious to the fact I had no idea who I was, what I was doing and why I was like that.
As I wrote in my first blog, fitness a catalyst to change. Training started this snow ball effect of positive change. I learned discipline , respect, self awareness and most importantly you can change any facet of your life – not just your body – with the right knowledge and consistent action.
And although I was a little late to the party of caring about my own life and bettering myself through personal development, so I can then help people more effectively.
For example when I was first qualified , I could confidently teach you kickboxing , that was about it. Now I’ve gone on to do mindset coaching , seminars on the mind and body , speaking in prison and corporate offices , taken clients to body building shows, worked in different countries , just to name a few things. I don’t say this to impress you, I say it to impress upon you – I was able to this through using fitness as the foundation to everything I do in my life, I mean the mind and the body are one in the same. As I improve one, it compliments the other.
In the last few years I’ve created ‘the program’ original title I know, but regardless of the name it has changed 100s of lives. Through basic correction of nutrition and exercise (cardio , weights and diet) the body and mind now in optimal state to really start changing things. I then start implementing things like meditation , reading, seminars and other exercises to work on the mind and ultimately get you in the optimal state to live your best life. I call myself a lifestyle coach, not a life coach, I’m not going to teach you how to make a million dollars in a year or how to attract every member of the opposite sex. But like I mention , I am going to get you in the correct state to live your best life, by coaching you through everything I mentioned at the start of this paragraph.
Is it easy no, in fact its not something I really ‘market’ its when people approach me , I guess because they have seen what I have done with other people. They say take me through ‘the program’ , when the student is ready the teacher will appear so to speak. Is working through me the only way to achieve this, no. But I’m damn good at it , regardless whether you were to work with me or not I can’t advise more heavily then – start on the journey of personal development now, strengthen your body , sharpen your mind, its not easy , but it is worth it.
Im Dan Fitts and I believe in fitness.
I had a client ask me 'how do I get motivated at this gym stuff, like you?'.
I thought about it, I don't think I can single it down to one thing.
What I can say though is I was not always motivated , especially when it came to a healthy lifestyle or physical exercise.
But what changed? like most people there was a point where I needed to do something - doctors advice, pain of looking a certain way, career requirement, there can be a number of reasons why people start something. Mine was learning how to defend myself.
Then from there, I built skills like discipline, self control, a good work ethic just to name a few. Although I enjoyed what I was doing, like anything in life I began to plateu , get bored, what ever it was I decided to branch out, constantly seek more information , to the point where it became 'what I do' my life - so to speak.
Like the girl who asked me about motivation , the same goes for her, shes a dancer, quite good at what she does, and in a very specific style of dance. There is so much more to fitness and a healthy life style then just one size fits all programs. There's martials arts, weights, crossfit, zumba, the list goes on - they all have a relatively positive effect on you. But they all cater for different types of people.
The same way we enjoy going to a job we love vs one we don't. The same way we love to wear our favorite clothes vs wear a work uniform. FInd out what it is you enjoy doing for your body , mind , and training - then you won't need the motivation. You will automatically do it, and most likely excel.
But the same way alot of us don't seek out what we enjoy doing for work , we do the same with training, basically because its uncomfortable trying new things, its hard starting from the bottom, but whats the alternative. An unmotivated life.
At least with your training anyway.
There is no way to go through life to never make a mistake or never do the wrong thing, its how we learn and how we grow.
Ideally learning and not repeating things that do not benefit us.
That is the crazy thing though about our species, as smart as we are, why do we continue to do things, even though we know if the long term they are no good for us.
Eating that extra piece of cake - every night, going out drinking every weekend - although you know you cant afford it, watching the 3rd hour of net flix - even though you have to get that report done before tomorrow.
Why do we do these things , even though we actually know better!
I'm not sure, I mean its insane behavior , but what we can do is re-train the brain, replace these negative behavior patterns with more positive ones. Its the same way someone steals a loaf of bread to feed their family, even though they know its wrong.
But what got them to the point they need to steal, just to eat.
Its the same way you don't really want to eat 25 chocolates in one sitting, but somewhere through your journey of life you've worked out that 5 minutes or so of pleasure, is worth the years of been over weight, each day spent been unhappy about how you look - having no energy etc
But if you go a little deeper, its the why. Why do you do things in excess, seeking that small amount of pleasure at any cost necessary. It can be a number of things -
Its more the why do we need to seek out pleasure from these things when should the gift of life be fulfilling enough on its own ?
To a point , but like I mentioned , intuition , a gut feeling , a higher power, what ever you want to call it - when you are spending each day for example going to drive trucks, when deep down you know you want to be a painter , but for what ever reason you don't pursue it. It causes an uneasy feeling , which is fine you don't always get what you want it life. But what happens when you come home, you seek out pleasure from the life you are no longer enjoying. In the form of a drink, food, TV something to take your mind off the empty feeling you have from 'settling'.
This is just one example, another scenario could be you've been in relationship a few years you know its gone south, but instead of moving on to something better or being on your own, you stay , but what do you with that feeling that is still there knowing that the relationship no longer serves you? Start drinking each night, who knows? Its just a common scenario . Like I said at the beginning , why else would we continuously do these things that we know make us feel good short term - but will have dramatic negative effects long term.
This is why again , fitness, looking after yourself is always the solution, when you have a strong body and mind. It is easy (easier) to move onto the next job, to find the ideal partner, to pursue your passion in painting. What ever it is that you know your neglecting that gets you into cycle or limbo or short term pleasures to 'escape' reality.
We all make mistakes,
but when it becomes a destructive habit, you need to look at why and what is causing it. If you would like some guidance through this, get in touch with me.
Saying the word heroin already this sounds controversial.
So I'm giving a presentation about 'being present' and as I get to the part about smart phones and social media, I notice most people nodding their head - as in 'wow , thats me' .
Time and energy are our most precious resources and without monitoring your thoughts and behavior you can unintentionally find yourself staring mindlessly into a screen or even worse the only time you really feel good is when see you those little red hearts as notifications (the colour red most used in advertising as its shown to be the colour the gets the most attention).
Drinking , gambling, over eating - yes will probably wreak havoc on your health and life, but the crazy thing is so will smart phones , social media , video games etc if you are not regulating when, why and how long you use these things. Personally with my business I use alot of platforms of social media and also different apps and could probably do 10 hours of work straight from my phone and laptop alone. But what happens when you go for coffee with a partner, go out to the club or even the gym. You find yourself not being able to focus, dropping what your doing once you hear that 'ding' , or even having to document your experiences so other people can see it , while not actually being present and enjoying it yourself. Madness , right. You might have a problem. An addict.
Like anything though, I don't suggest or believe in banning things - I mean the war on drugs had no negative side effects on society right? But what I do suggest is basically what I recommend with training, eating, lifestyle - record what your doing, how long you did it for, how you feel while your doing, is it effecting you in a positive or negative way.
I'm sure we've all been in the situation with one person when your there, and they're well... not , and I don't mean taking a business call, I mean mindlessly scrolling thru things that will be there later - but the event or even the person your with might not be.
I don't tell people how to live, merely suggest things, and if you are like some of the people at my presentation you might be sitting there thinking - shit this is me.
More importantly why I mention this , when people ask me about their training, 99% of the time I can say it's because you're on your damn phone all the time - if you can't be present and focused on your training for 45 minutes because you need to see if someone has liked your #throwbackthursday photo. What else are you missing in life.