About a year ago I'm back in Australia and I'm sitting on the banks of the Yarra with a new friend. Big jacked African American dude , and then there's me, more tattoos then common sense, not your average looking guys to be sitting in the Melbourne cbd quietly playing chess while talking about saving the world - as some trainers tend to do.
Adrian mentions to me he thinks this generation is struggling with a confidence issue, a lack of self esteem. Where do these things come from? I mean I know for sure in a volatile, intense , high risk situations, I'm quite comfortable - then you get me in a regular busy cafe, all of a sudden not so much. Does that make me more or less confident then the average person , I don't know.
What I do know there is a strong link between looking good and feeling good. I know personally, and I know from experience of helping hundreds of people do the same. This can also be a trap, creating an identity to the way you look, building your confidence and how you appear physically - not only can it cause you to seek the approval of others (eg social media) you can also not hold onto the physical forever. Which brings me to.
Education and knowledge. The more you learn, the more you earn. Pretty basic concept. The more you know, the more you can construct your life the way you see it in your mind. An this isn't more money = confidence / happiness. The strong link with this area I have noticed is people tend to be more confident when they are good at what they do, which comes from knowledge and practice, which general brings in money. Again the trap here I've noticed is should you lose the money/career/identity you're confidence can take a big blow.
I guess lastly is the people who associate with - and this can be on a large number of people now due to internet/social media. I can't remember the statistics I think for every one negative comment it takes fourteen positive comments to 'undo' the negative one. Again like the other two factors you shouldn't rely on outside sources for confidence or self esteem - aside from it being obvious your generally going to perform better and feel better around nice people then assholes - particular the amount of negativity generated from strangers due to social media.
I'm no expert on this , I also mentioned there are many 'normal' situations I don't feel confident in. Reading over this blog this probably raises more questions then answers - like usual. This just my opinion , my observation , I started writing about this due to the amount of people that bring up my physique or my presence and the way I seem arrogant or over confidence. Like I mention your appearance should not be your source of confidence or identity , also someone else's judgement of you probably suggest more about them then you.